How crazy frustrating it is to be stuck. You know what you want to be different. You see it clearly; go to the gym, less stress, eat veggies, get focused, meet people, or maybe even spend more time with family. You want ____to change, but it doesn’t.
Over time, it becomes personal. I heard a beautiful older woman with popping blue eyes and creamy skin describe her experience with being stuck. She sat among a group of women sharing her long story of weight loss struggles. The sun was shining and a Mandevilla dripping with fuchsia blooms swayed gently behind her. She spoke for a while and ended with, “Every morning I wake up on a diet, and every night I go to bed a failure.”
Ugh, it’s like concrete.
I say “LIKE” concrete because the situation is so hard and frozen you are tricked into thinking you cannot break free. But people do break free all the time. People overcome the challenges holding them back. They move forward. They find their wings and soar freely, untethered.
Heads up, if they can do it you can do it. Below are three totally doable ideas to jump start the process.
Tear back the covers
Usually people are unaware of how they keep themselves stuck. This goes deeper than I’m doing this or I’m not doing that. Rather, tear back the covers and look into your heart. Jump out of your head and into your emotions. What emotion is running the show? What feelings do you have about yourself that need to be seen for the lights to come on? Perhaps something you don’t want to see? Make these gremlins conscious and they lose their power.
Fear and shame are often co-stars in this play. It is human nature for you to cross the street when you see these two bad guys coming your way. Fight the urge. They have critical information for you. Look these agitators in the eye and take in what they have to tell you. Ask yourself questions and learn.
- What am I believing about myself?
- What am I afraid of?
Better yet, find a friend who you trust to show your true heart. Get their permission to be a echo chamber for your exploration. You don’t want their opinion. You want them to reflect what they hear you say.
Re-write the story
“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.” Marianne Williamson
Ultimately getting unstuck will emerge with a change in your perspective. You can actively search out new view points by talking with others and reading. Remember you are not looking to validate the old but rather find something new.
Expand your thoughts with the fierce use of curiosity. When you ask new questions it produces new answers. There are many question for you to consider in this article. Here are two more:
- What is it you would have to face about yourself if you accepted the circumstances you are in?
- What is the story you are telling yourself about your situation?
Change your mindset because it is not working for you. It is keeping you STUCK. It is keeping your brilliance hidden. You are playing small, staying in your comfort zone.
I used to get super frustrated at myself for overeating and inability to eat rich whole foods. I would tell myself, “I can’t because the kids won’t eat it” or “It is too much work. I don’t have enough time to do all that chopping and food prep.” This was my story, my thinking. The hard truth was I was putting other people first. I wanted to please others. I feared how putting myself first would ruin my relationships. I also didn’t think I was worth the time and energy it took to buy and make special food. Bologna. Can you see how I glued myself to this reality?
Put one foot in front of the other
“We find our path by walking on it.” Maya Angelo
Finally, take action. If you can only do one thing, make it action. Thinking about the problem does nothing on its own. Talking about a headache deceives you into thinking you are “doing” something when you are not. These are energy drainers. They fool you into the illusion that the issue is being addressed. Take physical action. Do something new and it will lead to new learning, new skills, growth and discovery. Feel your uneasiness and let it be part of the excitement of change. Stay the course, my friend. Discomfort is to be expected.
Thanks for reading! Many blessings to you…