If you could carry only one arrow in your quiver, why not make it an arrow that serves you rather than wounds the other guy? Life is full of bumps and scratches. We need a way to recover.
Self compassion offers us a path. It is a skill that lifts us up off the ground, brushes the dirt from our knees, and sets us on our way with confidence.
We can increase our self-acceptance and decrease emotional pain by learning to quiet the critical voice with the practice of self-compassion. Here’s a three part process adapted from the resources section of the www.self-compassion.org website:
When emotions arrive, greet them with awareness. Stop and notice…
1. This is a moment of suffering.
Say this to yourself. Of course, make the language fit you.
•This is stress.
2. Suffering is a part of life.
Remember and acknowledge this essential truth in whatever way is right for you.
•Other people feel this way.
•I’m not alone.
•We all struggle in our lives.
3. May I be kind to myself.
Finally, actively send yourself kind thoughts and affection. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP! It transmutes the emotions. Again, each person will have a different way to soothe themselves. Find your way.
I place my hand on my heart and say to myself,”I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It will be better.”, among other nice things. Other phrases or well-wishes might be:
• May I give myself the kindness/compassion that I need.
• May I learn to accept myself as I am.
• May I forgive myself.
• May I be strong.
• May I be patient.
Enjoy whatever your day might bring!