One Thing Wednesday

Dance a happy jig, today is Wednesday:)  The One Thing Wednesday treat is a website to help you do nothing.  Yes, absolutely nothing for two sweet minutes.

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Do nothing for 2 minutes

Why? You ask.  Because being able to shut down the mental motor not only increases our productivity and ability to perform it also increases life satisfaction.

If the idea of mental and physical quiet for two minutes has you protesting, then you might want to do it twice:)

Enjoy a tiny pocket of serenity…

Strength Through Softness

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Storms brewing

Are you a “fighter”?

I have been a fighter in my life, an arms-swinging-spit-flying-noise-making fighter.  You know, when the knee jerk reaction is to hiss and scratch rather than lay down.  Not that laying down is ideal either, right?  We connect with our true strength somewhere in the middle…not too hot, not too cold…but just right.

Easier said than done.

Intense anger comes with a surge in energy making us feel powerful when we are not.  At the same time, letting go of anger can feel like losing.  When rage strikes, the urge to retaliate can grab ahold of us, blinding us and yanking us in directions we do not want to go.  Standing still in the face of these urges is like allowing another person to shoot some sort of octopus ink in our faces while we do nothing.

It’s a Catch-22.  We argue to protect ourselves and end up paying an unwanted price.  Much like a hangover leaves us asking ourselves if a bottle of Merlot is worth the pounding head. If we are honest with ourselves the cost of an unbridled fury doesn’t seem like much of a victory.

Real strength isn’t found in crushing another or running away.  Real strength is the opposite of these.  We connect with our power when we stand steady in awareness and see the situation rather than get caught up in the fray.  We stay on solid ground. We don’t get sucked into the vortex.  This allows us to make choices rather than react.


“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Martin Luther King Jr.


Our thinking brain helps pull us back from our emotional brain much like an approaching stop sign makes a driver press the brake.

See it coming and slow it down.

Notice when vexation strikes and begin strategically engaging your logical side by talking yourself out of the storm. Put into words what is happening and ask questions as if you were the lead investigator for the FBI terrorism unit.

  • “I’m feeling pissed right now.  My heart is in my throat.  I could scream.  I’m just super angry.”
  •  “I don’t need to take action right this minute. The problem will be here when I’m calm.  The situation isn’t going anywhere.”
  • “What happened?  How am I interpreting this? What am I afraid of? What can I do here?  How do I want to proceed?  What do I need?  How will I address this?”

Stay with it until you start to settle, gently ease yourself to the ground.  You continue to gain traction as long as you see what is happening without getting swallow up by it.  Focus on noticing what you are experiencing and/or talking yourself through the darkness.  Awareness has our back.  Use it on purpose.

The main thrust of this practice is skillfully directing our attention to something that supports us rather than slipping into the highly automatic emotional habits we all have.

For the times when you cannot step away from the heat and indulge in slowing everything down, create a plan. Decide exactly what you will do and say when emotions begin to swell. Perhaps have a few scripted lines memorized like the scent of a lovers cologne.

  • “I’m not comfortable with that.”
  • “Let me think about it.”
  • “I need a minute.”

Weave a verbal safety net.  It is always okay to leave the room or say we are not going to respond at that moment.

When we don’t engage in the rumble, we stay true to our values and we skip the hangover.  There is tremendous strength in this softness. We still respond, just not in a blaze of ill tempered rage.  We decide on our terms from a place of stability.  It’s not tied-up-with-a bow perfect. Nothing is.  But know for sure, that with each annoying episode we successfully navigate, we step a bit closer to being the faithful leader of our own emotional landscape.

After a while, caving to the fight starts to feel like losing and slow conscious responses start to feel like winning.

May all of your fights be productive:)

XO

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Blue skies

One Thing Wednesday

Choose Love

Today’s One Thing Wednesday is devoted to love.  Some great thinkers believe there are only two emotions; love and fear.


“Because we always have a choice, we can choose love.”

Deepak Chopra


 

Today’s problems will be waiting for you tomorrow. Let them wait.  Today, choose love.

Many blessings to you…

Engage in Self Care 2.0

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I cannot be alone with this any longer…

True confession, I bristle when people start talking about self-care.  Weird.  I believe giving energy and care to ourselves is non-negotiable.  Easily the most influential and far-reaching contract we have to fill during our time here on Earth.  So what is it about the popular idea of self care that makes be cringe?

Up pops the latest “Awesome Ideas for Self-Care” article on the computer screen and I pull back into my chair.  Ever so suspicious, I think, here it comes.

Logically, I know the intentions are a pure as a mountain hot spring (leave out the dirty bathers of course).  The concept radiates all things “good”; self-nurture, self-love, refresh, recharge, health, and wellbeing to name a few.  Yet it smacks of judgment and morality.  Sort of like, this is what you should do, or all good people do self-care.  Oh and, it’s not selfish, they add.

Honestly, it often feels like my dad reminding me to clean my room rather than the life-line I was looking for.

Underneath all of the benevolent encouragement to take a walk or a bubble bath is the fact that self care happens between me and myself.  It is the ultimate relationship.  It runs deeper than carving out time to do something I enjoy or picking an activity off of a list of self care ideas. The endless lists of what to do shoot past me at the speed of light.  I have my list: Reading, yoga and eating healthy nourish me.  I absolutely feel better when I take time to do these activities.  And, I guarantee you, I will NOT make time for them if something more important comes up.  None of us would.

The trouble starts here.

It is not a lack of ideas on self care that keeps me from taking action.  It is not the belief that self care isn’t valuable.  I know it is essential.  And it is also not a lack of time.  I am allowed the same 24 hours as everyone else.  I choose how I spend those minutes.

What keeps me from doing self care is the internal struggle between different needs and values.

On this hidden battle ground are my need to be loved and accepted by others.  Insert real life.  If I think for a millisecond that taking the time to soak my feet in an epsom salt bath threatens my approval rating with others, then forget about it.  I must wrestle with the need first.  I have to feel secure enough, safe enough, or at the point of not caring before I will give myself permission to focus on me.

This applies to higher order needs as well, such as feeling esteem and accomplished, or mastery and meaning in life. In everyday terms, this means I might go into work early, or take on another project, rather than spend an hour at the gym if I feel valued at the office for my skills and ability to produce.  I may think, they need me, they count on me, I’ve got this.  Who has time for the treadmill when the source of my confidence, meaning and perhaps even status are derived from my job performance?  I will choose the one that makes me feel like a rock star.  Exercise can wait until I’m done saving the Universe.

You get the idea.  We have needs and values that influence our choices.  Seeing the need empowers us to meet it head on.  We start by asking the question, what do I need?  Over and over, what do I need? Resist the urge to pull out the white flag if answers don’t become apparent at first try.  Stay curious.  Ask yourself follow up questions.  For example, when I’m needing help, I ask myself, what kind of help and how can I get it?  Keep on the hunt for answers until you get to details and action steps.  This is a conversation with yourself that develops with time and attention.  Give yourself this gift. You will blossom in ways well beyond what the ordinary self care protocol provides.


“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

William S. Burroughs


Don’t misunderstand me, the mission is still to be happily and wildly engaged in activities that create thriving health.  This practice uncovers a path to get us there.

When we focus on meeting our needs, self care moves from checking off a TO-DO list to an intimate dance of recognizing and filling the gaps.  We plug the leaks and seal it with a kiss.  This presence to ourselves builds trust and self-love like gangbusters.  We are available and honor what we truly need and what we feel.  The energy to take action flows like electricity from a giant reservoir of desire.

This process of seeing a need and taking steps to satisfy the need happens repeatedly and each time we show up for ourselves, we move a bit further down the continuum to the place of genuinely being the most important person in our lives.  Self care becomes life rather than a special event we “should” do.

Once our glass fills up, it begins to overflow.  Like the Grinch who stole Christmas, our hearts swell and expand so big they burst open and spill love out in all directions.

May you feel the blessings of your own sweet love.

 

Recharge Your Resolutions

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Driving around town the other day, I spotted a massive Christmas tree.  It filled every inch of a grand front window on a red brick house.  The window probably measured at least ten feet high and eight feet wide.  The home truly popped open with this enormous Fir sucking in anyone who saw it.  I marveled at the idea these people still had their tree up in late January and in the same breath I thought if I put that much work into a Christmas tree I would probably want to leave it up for a while too!

So here we are.  We have arrived at the time of year when the energy for changes starts to fizzle and we begin to welcome back the couch or the potato chips or the busyness into our lives.  We have slid squarely into the post New Year’s resolutions stage of the year.

Let’s face it, we are creatures of habit.  As if there is an invisible force repeatedly pulling us back toward what’s comfortable.  Is it homeostasis?  The Ego?  What?


Knowledge is not behavior.


I read a quick one-liner some time ago which pulls together this universal struggle quite well: Knowledge is not behavior.  No it is not.  Knowing what to do and doing it each rely on different parts of the brain.  These are separate skills sets.  Anyone who has ever been on a diet can tell you that.

Breaking this down helps us navigate change more effectively.

We could over-simplify how we operate in the world by compressing it down into two modes, thinking or sensing.  These modes correlate well to “knowledge” and “behavior”.  In psychology, they call it top-down and bottom-upBoth of these modes have value.  They each bring their own unique ingredient to the party and these ingredients are best served together like chips and salsa.  When combined, these two deliver a rich full eating adventure with warm crunch, cool sauce, all topped off with a little bit of sweet and salty goodness. Yum.

Research by Barbara Fredrickson estimated that the vast majority of people (over 70%) are most often in a “thinking” mode.  It is like a default setting for us.  Most of us primarily think and evaluate our way through life.

Thinking gives us so much in life.  There is nothing wrong with thinking but it is only half of the story.  We also have sensing.  It gives us access to a brimming treasure chest of wisdom to learn from and to help guide us.  We need a well-developed sensing mode to flourish in the direction we want to go. 

Thankfully, we get better at what we practice, even in psychology.

For most of us, it seems, our “sensing” mode could use a little boost.  Mindfulness practice promotes the growth of our sensing mode.  Through mindfulness we take in our world by perceiving it.  We watch life as it unfolds.  We are an active participant in the experience.  This requires us to shift our attention to the present and notice the feeling of our body; we hear what we hear, smell what we smell, taste what we taste.  We fully “feel” the moment rather than take it in with thoughts.

Of course we still have thoughts, but in a sensing mode, we work to observe the thoughts or any automatic judgments about good/bad, right/wrong, yes/no.  We see the impact our thinking has on us because we feel it in our body.  Like an adamant toddler, we firmly and repeatedly refuse to buy into these thoughts while we keep our focus on the sensation.

Mindfulness practice cuts out the middle-man.  We create a 1 to 1 exchange with the environment.  This takes us from the level of “knowledge” down to the level of “behavior” and behavior is where the rubber meets the road.  Behavior is what we strive to change.

Sensing supports our increased self-awareness. We will feel and urge well before we will think about it.  We catch ourselves early enough in the situation to make a new choice.  This moves us up to the front of the peloton.  We know we are thinking about eating the Oreo before we decide to eat the Oreo.  Once we make a decision to take action, no matter if it is a decision to not go to the gym or to have seconds at dinner, then it becomes a herculean task to refrain.  Being aware of the urge when it is still just a whisper promotes successful habit change.

Sensing helps us stop just long enough for our thinking brain to kick on and ask:

What is happening?

What do I need?

What’s most important to me?

We break free from the habit spider web and we proceed with power, with conscious choice.

We flip the auto-pilot switch off and submerse ourselves completely into our lives with both thinking and sensing.  It is not perfect.  It is an opening.  A portal for discovery.  We get proficient at shifting our attention so we can learn what we need to learn and eventually get better and better at jumping the hurdles of change.

Oh, and there will always be hurdles:)

Thanks for reading!  I hope this article has sparked something new for you.  If so, I’d love to connect with you in the comments section.

XO

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Thinking and sensing…two trunks of the same tree.

The Gift of Acceptance

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We stood together in her tiny office, which needed another light bulb or two.  I watched her closely as she babbled about my work.  Her voice held a cheery, upbeat sort of tone at the same time her message was abrasive. She tried to ease the blow of her words by pulling back her round cheeks and forming a forced half-smile in between each of her sentences.

“That was rough, I almost fell asleep I was so bored!  You let her talk about her dogs too long.  The use of distraction as a coping mechanism needs to be addressed.”  And on it went…

What was she saying really?  I listened to the syllables slipping out of her mouth and into the room, blah, blah, blah.  Every molecule of my body wanted to stay open to her.  I wanted to take in whatever it was she was trying to communicate but my muscles started to contract.  My chest filled up with air and tightened.  My thoughts moved quickly.   My weight went from one leg to the other. I felt criticized.

As I stepped toward the door, I repeated “Okay, well thank you. I’ll give it some thought.”

I barely knew her and now I found myself not wanting to know her at all!  However, the Universe had other plans for me…I had just met my new supervisor.

Fast forward through a years worth of images with her and I having awkward encounters and bristled feathers.  Each new experience brought me an opportunity to process what the heck just happened.  I committed and re-committed to moving through the mud often starting in a place of irritation, shifting to reflection, then on to problem solving.  I had to make it work.  We were two different ingredients stuck in the same soup pot together, forced to bump around in the heat, and eventually make a tasty meal.

Weeks passed into months and my upset continued returning like a tulip does each Spring. These were itty-bitty adult temper tantrums I was having; moments when I fought for change.  I worked myself up into quite a bluster, huffing and puffing.  These mini-outbursts were neatly justified in my mind. I held onto thoughts about what she was doing wrong or poorly and how it needed to S-T-O-P.  I screamed out to those who would listen, “It’s not working!”  Ugh.

My resistance made the situation worse.  It created a tug of war between what I wanted and what was really happening.  The main side effect to this whole kerfuffle was more and more self-righteous discontent.  The clash between the two sides brought me to cross roads.  I needed to decide how I wanted this to go: continue the struggle or accept and adjust to the circumstances.

I realized as unpleasant as I found this situation, as much as it disturbed me, as much as I DIDN’T WANT her to be my supervisor, I had to accept it.  It was the truth and it was not changing.

I chose acceptance and the peace of mind that follows.

Almost as soon as I shifted my attention toward cooperating with the facts of my position, I noticed a change.  Similar to when you have been working inside all day and finally open the door to step outside.  Your world goes from a small task oriented state to a “Holy-cow-look-at-all -this-out-here” state.  In an instant, the sun fills you with awe and the warm air welcomes you back to life.

Did you ever have one of those times?

Acceptance brought me a release, some space from the problem.  At the same time, there was a heavy ball of sadness in my gut and a rock stuck in my throat.  The pain I had been protecting myself from showed up right on cue with vigor.  Tears pooled in my eyes.  I did my best to feel into the sensation rather than think about it.  After all, this is what truly needed to be seen.  The emotion needed exposure to the light of day so it could evaporate.  I noticed for a few minutes how the emotion pushed and swirled around my torso from my Adam’s apple to my uterus and back again. Pretty quickly, my body settled into stillness.

I had found the ignitor, the fuel for the fire that kept cropping up and…I kept trying to unsuccessfully put out.  I wasn’t addressing my loss and pain so, of course, these two remained faithfully by my side.

I had to actively slowww down and open up to this difficulty for my battle to end.  I replayed this process each time I found myself complaining about my supervisor’s latest infraction. Little by little the medicine sunk into my core and worked it’s magic until the process was simply a choice to shift my attention, acknowledge my fears or loss, and decide how I wanted to proceed.

You may be thinking, “Wait, how can you let go?  What about the criticism?  This is passive.  It’s wrong and we need to stand up to wrong!!”

Ironically, the gift of acceptance is empowerment.  Being with the truth of any situation, from finding all the milk is gone when you already put Wheaties in your bowl…all the way up to something as important as, hold on, who gets elected President of the United States, allows us to take action from a place of power; a place of choices and awareness rather than old conditioning and reaction.


Unless you consciously choose a different future, your past will decide it for you.

— Rod Stryker


It’s not that we “give up” or “don’t care”, it’s that we care enough to face what’s difficult.  We care enough to take actionable change rather than simply fight and resist.  There is a difference.

We naturally recoil from the unpleasant. It’s the norm.  It’s how we are built. We automatically create a distraction by focusing on the external.  In my case, I was myopically focused on my supervisor’s short comings rather than connecting to my own bruised ego and huge loss.

But if the goal is to shake this monkey off our backs, then we can’t do it by ignoring the monkey.  Once we truly see and feel the weight of the burden, we can discover what is within our control to break free from it.

Can you smell the difference between sheer resistance and empowered choice?

Acceptance delivers us the option of deciding from solid ground.  We no longer drift in a round yellow life raft at the mercy of the currents.  We find our oars and row.

Row, baby, row.

Find Stillness

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Of all the vitamins I have swallowed or exercises I have done, nothing has brought me real change like the act of doing nothing.

Perhaps like you, the default setting in my brain sits at “chatter” mode; thinking, narrating my every move, remembering what happened ten minutes ago and ten years ago, predicting how conversations will go and events will play out…and on it goes.

I never even imagined another mental mode existed until I reached my thirties and I started to sample little bites of mindfulness meditation.  My work as a therapist lead me to books about  being “mindful”. I circled the baited hook, looking, taking it all in, just nibbling at the edges without committing to a big bite. The research buzzed and hummed with promises of reduced anxiety and stress, improved mood and affect regulation, better concentration, among other positives such as dealing with the struggles of chronic pain and addictions.

“Okay,” I thought to myself, “if it’s good for you then you should be doing it.”  My motivation was somewhat external at that point…I was busy trying to do the right thing. I started with guided meditations such as those by Tara Brach, Pema Chodron, Ronald Seigel, and many others.

Looking back now, I realize l had no idea how this one choice would transform my life.

Meditation brought me tiny pockets of quiet, little moments of release.  These minutes were pleasant enough, but not enough to pull me back to the cushion everyday.  It felt like one more thing to do on an already long list.  Day after day I created the same story:  I’ll sit after breakfast…There’s not time now… Maybe on my break at work (I rarely took one back then)…Before I fall asleep…and, night after night, my head would hit the pillow…goodnight, lights out, done. Another full day would pass by me without stopping to meditate.

I did manage to squeak out time for mindfulness here and there but fell far short of what I “thought” it “should” be.

Thankfully, the phone kept ringing.  I was being called to shift my awareness with meditation and the murmur wasn’t going away.  I answered the noise by filling my head with information.  I read books, attended workshops, listened to podcasts and audio programs.

During all of this head filling, I bumped into a statement by Eckhart Tolle that reversed my process.  He was talking to someone about attending a workshop on meditation, when the other person asked Eckhart which session he recommended.  Eckhart, in his frank Eckhart way, simply said, “It would do you more good to practice for one hour that it would be to attend every session at the workshop.”

Oh. You mean I can’t learn how to ride a bike by reading about it?  Thank you Ekhart.

I shifted instantly to a new frame of mind. I immediately gave myself permission to practice in a way that fit my life. I made time everyday for short periods, several times throughout the day.  I tied these to things I was already doing such as drinking coffee, eating, showering.  I also set up other routines to support the habit.  For example, I placed a special rock on my pillow every morning after getting out of bed.  At night, I would not move the rock until I had meditated for at least 10 minutes.

The focus became doing and I quickly felt a difference in how I was being.  

The formal practice of sitting meditation allowed me greater calm and clarity during the daily trek from am to pm.  Practice felt good and I made sure to savor the warmth in my chest and heaviness in my arms. These were mini-escapes full of peace and contentment.  I actually craved the pureness of silence.

During the day, my primary question became how am I paying attention RIGHT NOW? And this question carried my awareness back to a place of centered stillness.  It was like the TV channel switched.  The scene from the moment still played out in front of me but now I could watch it, rather than be immersed in it.

fullsizerenderEventually, stillness became a portal to something deeper and more satisfying. I was spending time paying attention to me. The thoughts I was thinking, the feelings I was having, the way my chest pulsed as my heart beat.  I was quiet and listening to me.  I noticed what I needed and I happily responded.

It is ironic, the idea of “doing nothing” producing the biggest growth of all. The notion is counter to our cultural push to GO,GO,GO and DO, DO, DO for sure.  But rest is required for growth in nature.  For example, babies sleep more than any other age group and aren’t their brains growing extraordinarily fast?  Also, don’t most perennial flowers require a period of cold before they will germinate?

Stillness has delivered unexpected rewards in my life and I hope it does for you too.

Many blessings to you, xo.

 

 

Three Ideas for Getting Unstuck

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How crazy frustrating it is to be stuck.  You know what you want to be different.  You see it clearly; go to the gym, less stress, eat veggies, get focused, meet people, or maybe even spend more time with family.  You want ____to change, but it doesn’t.

Over time, it becomes personal.  I heard a beautiful older woman with popping blue eyes and creamy skin describe her experience with being stuck.  She sat among a group of women sharing her long story of weight loss struggles.  The sun was shining and a Mandevilla dripping with fuchsia blooms swayed gently behind her.  She spoke for a while and ended with, “Every morning I wake up on a diet, and every night I go to bed a failure.”

Ugh, it’s like concrete.

I say “LIKE” concrete because the situation is so hard and frozen you are tricked into thinking you cannot break free.  But people do break free all the time.  People overcome the challenges holding them back.  They move forward.  They find their wings and soar freely, untethered.

Heads up, if they can do it you can do it.  Below are three totally doable ideas to jump start the process.

Tear back the covers

Usually people are unaware of how they keep themselves stuck.  This goes deeper than I’m doing this or I’m not doing that.  Rather, tear back the covers and look into your heart.  Jump out of your head and into your emotions.  What emotion is running the show? What feelings do you have about yourself that need to be seen for the lights to come on?  Perhaps something you don’t want to see? Make these gremlins conscious and they lose their power.

Fear and shame are often co-stars in this play.  It is human nature for you to cross the street when you see these two bad guys coming your way.  Fight the urge.  They have critical information for you.  Look these agitators in the eye and take in what they have to tell you.  Ask yourself questions and learn.

  • What am I believing about myself?
  • What am I afraid of?

Better yet, find a friend who you trust to show your true heart.  Get their permission to be a echo chamber for your exploration.  You don’t want their opinion.  You want them to reflect what they hear you say.

Re-write the story

“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”  Marianne Williamson

Ultimately getting unstuck will emerge with a change in your perspective.  You can actively search out new view points by talking with others and reading.  Remember you are not looking to validate the old but rather find something new.

Expand your thoughts with the fierce use of curiosity.  When you ask new questions it produces new answers.  There are many question for you to consider in this article.  Here are two more:

  • What is it you would have to face about yourself if you accepted the circumstances you are in?
  • What is the story you are telling yourself about your situation?

Change your mindset because it is not working for you.  It is keeping you STUCK.  It is keeping your brilliance hidden.  You are playing small, staying in your comfort zone.

I used to get super frustrated at myself for overeating and inability to eat rich whole foods.  I would tell myself, “I can’t because the kids won’t eat it” or “It is too much work. I don’t have enough time to do all that chopping and food prep.”  This was my story, my thinking.  The hard truth was I was putting other people first.  I wanted to please others.  I feared how putting myself first would ruin my relationships.  I also didn’t think I was worth the time and energy it took to buy and make special food.  Bologna.  Can you see how I glued myself to this reality?

Put one foot in front of the other

“We find our path by walking on it.” Maya Angelo

Finally, take action.  If you can only do one thing, make it action. Thinking about the problem does nothing on its own.  Talking about a headache deceives you into thinking you are “doing” something when you are not. These are energy drainers.  They fool you into the illusion that the issue is being addressed.   Take physical action.  Do something new and it will lead to new learning, new skills, growth and discovery.  Feel your uneasiness and let it be part of the excitement of change.  Stay the course, my friend.  Discomfort is to be expected.

Thanks for reading! Many blessings to you…

Growth Through Challenges

“The only way out, is in” -Junot Diaz


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Feeling furious, I climbed into my car determined to get as far away from the house as I could. I began driving down the road full of venom and scorn. My thoughts swirled along with a few nasty names directed toward the person I married. I was livid my husband didn’t take care of the errands he said he would to get ready for a party we were having. We argued hard.

The intensity began to settle as I drove and I decided to pull off the road by a lake and think things through. Luckily, I found a small secluded spot with full-grown oaks, cottonwoods and a rich undergrowth. My anger had turned to tears by this time. I found my journal in my purse and I started to purge every gory detail onto its pages.

There I sat writing in all of my heat and fury when something made me pause. I stopped and looked out my window. My eyes moved upward to the leaves bopping around in the wind. They captured my full attention. I opened the window to take it all in and, as I did, fresh air rushed in the car and coolness hit my cheeks. The leaves shimmered and twirled in circles creating a swishing noise.

It was so serene, so incredibly peaceful. I realized, “This turmoil is only in me. I am the one holding this emotion.  I am creating this upset.

It was a bitter-sweet moment. I understood if I created it, I can fix it.

Forget my husband. Forget what happened. This is my life and my perception. How do I want to respond?

We are not victims of our lives. We are creators of our lives. If we don’t like what is happening, we have the ability to do things differently on our end. It all starts with tuning into what we experience and turning toward the challenges we face. Possibilities open up from there.

Notice what challenges you. Let it show you how you respond. This receptivity will lead you to a path of endless beautiful possibilities. You have choices, my dear. We all have choices.

Many blessings to you…